Discernment Counseling in Reno, NV
For couples on the brink of divorce - when one partner wants repair and the other is unsure about continuing the relationship, or whether therapy would even help.
What Is Discernment Counseling?
Five sessions to discern what path fits your real-life relationship.
Discernment Counseling is a short-term process for couples in crisis - for when one partner is leaning out of the marriage and the other is leaning in.
This is very different from couples therapy, as it’s highly structured, short-term, and not meant to fix or resolve your marital issues. It is a specific protocol to determine whether to part ways or commit to resolving issues
Over five sessions, we explore each person’s role in the patterns that developed and what responsibility you’re willing to take for change. There are no sides, no pressure, and respect for whatever choice you make.
Your marriage isn’t ready for couples therapy; you need clarity first.
The raw reality is that you have three paths:
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Continue your relationship as-is.
02
Separate and/or divorce
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An all-out effort in couple’s therapy.
For those “Leaning In”
You’re probably reading this because your spouse has put divorce on the table, refused or haphazardly agreed to couple’s therapy, and you have no idea what else to do.
Since then, you’ve probably gone through a wide range of emotions such anger, denial, fear, and sadness. You may be trying to change your spouses’ mind, distracting yourself, or down a Google deep dive.
Trust me, I know this is an incredibly hard time.
As part of this work, I will honor your desire to save your marriage and do my best to help you bring best self to this crisis. You can’t directly change your spouse’s mind, but you can ask if they will consider doing discernment counseling with you - not to fix the marriage but to see if it is fixable.
Encourage your spouse to read the information on the right column for "leaning out" partners and ask them to consider meeting with me.
For those “Leaning Out”
You may be on this page because you found it yourself, or because your spouse asked you to read it.
You’ve probably shared that you’re unhappy in your marriage and may have raised the possibility of divorce. This can be a painful and confusing place to be, especially if you’re not fully certain about what you want to do next.
If you haven’t started the divorce process, or if you have but still feel unsure, Discernment Counseling can help. It’s a short-term process designed to support you in making a thoughtful, confident decision about the future of your marriage.
Friends and family often have strong opinions, which can make it hard to know where to go or who to talk to. Discernment Counseling offers a neutral space to sort through your feelings and gain perspective. It also helps calm the intense reactions that often arise when a marriage feels at risk, giving both partners a chance to be heard.
Through this process, you can gain clarity, better understand what has happened, and identify what you would need to do differently in a future relationship, whether with your current spouse or someone else.
Discernment Counseling typically lasts up to five sessions. Couples often leave feeling more settled and confident, whether they choose to pursue couples therapy or move forward with divorce.
How it Looks
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Each partner has a 15-20 minute phone call with me to discuss if discernment is a good fit. These occur individually and are scheduled separate from one another.
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Our first session is 2 hours.
We begin together as a couple, and I’ll guide you through a set of core questions, specifically around the state of the relationship and what you’re hoping for.
After that shared time, I’ll meet individually with each of you.
Once the first partner finishes their one on one, the other is invited back to hear a brief summary, and then we switch. The second partner then has their own private time to reflect, clarify, and create their own summary.
At the end, we decide whether to schedule a following session.
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After the initial session, you will have one to four more sessions to make your decision about where to go with the relationship. Each session will start with individual work, shared summaries, and a choice to move forward or move onto your path.
At the end of each, you and your partner will decide whether to book further.
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Within the 5 sessions, you will become clear on what path is right for you, stay as is, choose to collaboratively separate/divorce, or commit to 6 months of couples therapy.
I will support you in connecting with other clinicians and coaches to continue on your path. This will be as collaborative a process as possible.
Training & Credentials
I am currently in formal training for Discernment Counseling and anticipate completing certification in mid-2026. Sessions follow the established Discernment Counseling structure and ethical guidelines.Who This Is Not Meant For
* When one spouse is coercing the other to participate * When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce * When there is danger of domestic violence *