A structured, short-term path for couples on the brink of divorce.
Discernment Counseling
In-person in Reno and virtual throughout California & Nevada
What is Discernment Counseling?
Considering divorce but are not completely sure? This is 1-5 structured sessions to gain clarity and confidence about a direction.
Discernment Counseling is a specialized service for high-functioning couples facing marital indecision. When one partner is 'leaning out' and the other is 'leaning in,' traditional couple’s therapy often fails or feels “half-hearted” because the goals aren't aligned. Discernment Counseling offers a structured way to understand your options.
This is different from couples therapy, as it’s highly structured and short-term. It is not meant to fix or resolve your marital issues, but to determine whether they are solvable.
Over one to five sessions, we explore each person’s role in the patterns that developed and what responsibility you’re willing to take for change. There are no sides, no pressure, and respect for whatever choice you make.
You might not have the energy for couples therapy.
You need clarity first.
The raw reality is that you have three options:
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Continue your relationship as-is.
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Collaborative & respectful separation or divorce.
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An all-out effort in couple’s therapy.
Which Are You?
The “Leaning In” Partner
You want to repair things, but feel powerless.
You’re likely reading this because your spouse has put divorce on the table or has “checked out” emotionally. You might be oscillating between panic, anger, and deep sadness, trying everything you can—pleading, changing your behavior, or doing Google deep-dives—to get them to change their mind.
It is an incredibly lonely and exhausting place to be. You feel like you’re fighting for the life of your family, but your partner has one foot out the door.
How I help: I will honor your desire to save your marriage. In our sessions, I’ll help you move out of "panic mode" and show up as your best self in this crisis. We aren’t here to "beg" your partner to stay; we are here to see if a path to repair is possible. I invite you to ask your spouse to join you for Discernment Counseling—not to "fix" the relationship, but to determine if it is fixable.
The “Leaning Out” Partner
You’re tired of the fighting (and the guilt).
Maybe you’re the one who found this page, or maybe your spouse sent it to you. Either way, you’ve likely been unhappy for a long time. You might feel "done," yet a part of you feels guilty or ambivalent about the massive impact of a divorce.
You are probably wary of "couples therapy" because you don't want to be judged, pressured, or talked into staying in a relationship that feels broken. You might feel like "the bad guy" for wanting to leave.
How I help: This process is different. I provide a neutral, non-judgmental space where your desire to leave is respected, not "treated" like a problem to be solved. This isn't a "save the marriage" trap. It’s a safe place to slow down and decide if you truly want to commit to one last effort of repair, or if a respectful, collaborative separation is the healthiest path forward for everyone.
How This Looks
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Each partner has a 15-20 minute phone call with me to discuss if discernment is a good fit. These occur individually and are scheduled separate from one another.
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Our first session is 2 hours.
We begin together as a couple, and I’ll guide you through a set of questions, specifically around the state of the relationship and what you’re hoping for.
After that shared time, I’ll meet individually with each of you.
Once the first partner finishes their one on one, the other is invited back and then we switch.
At the end, we decide whether to schedule a following session.
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After the initial session, you will have one to four more sessions to make your decision about where to go with the relationship. Each session will start with individual work, shared summaries, and a choice to move forward or move onto your path.
At the end of each, you and your partner will decide whether to book further.
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Within the 5 sessions, you will become clear on what path is right for you, stay as is, choose to collaboratively separate/divorce, or commit to short-term couples therapy, together or with other clinicians. This will be as collaborative a process as possible.
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The goal is to use clear, non-pressuring language. You might say:
"I came across something called Discernment Counseling. It’s short (usually 1–5 sessions) and it’s designed to help us figure out what options we have in our relationship. Can I send you some info on it?"
Or you might even forward them this webpage, or this link with more info: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quc5Yj-nIrQ
Suggestions:
Lead with curiosity, not blame - the more neutral you can present the option, the better.
Keep it optional – give your spouse space to explore this option without pressure.
Training & Credentials
I am training with The Doherty Relationship Institute (the founding authority and original developer of Discernment Counseling) and anticipate completing certification in 2026. Sessions follow the established Discernment Counseling structure and ethical guidelines.